feeling trapped?

Do you ever find your self getting so lost in your thoughts,the pain and confusion that you feel trapped? Before I found Christ, and came to know Him as my personal Savior I was a captive to depression. The feelings of not being good enough,self loathe, insecurities, worry, and a loss of hope where feelings that constantly lingered above my head. With the Valentines holiday just passing, and my hectic day filled with errands and school activities I couldn't help but feel  little alone. Sometimes the feelings of the past sneak up on me, and I find my self with tears rolling down my cheeks. One negative thought leads to the next and before you know it  I become disillusioned. The storm makes its way in, and somehow I become so caught up in my feelings that I fail to recognize all that God is doing in my life today, what he has done yesterday, and what He will do tommorow. Today I wanted to take the time to put these thougths in tangible form so that I could look back on them and be reminded not to dwell on my false feelings, but instead to dwell in the greatest love letter of all time, the Bible. Late last night, as I was heading to bed a friend sent me an ancouraging text message. She stated, " This day was first set aside to remember Saint Valentine. A man who was a martyr for his faith and love for jesus. Today we celebrate it as a day to show our loved ones how much we love and care for them. I ask you dear Saints, to remember the one who gave us the ultimate gift of love and sacrifice, when he stretched out his arms on the cross and said I love you this much. Please take the time to put in rememberance how much Jesus loves you, and desires you. Live His word. " As I read that text message the greatest smile appeared on my face and I extended my arms out towards the sky, and I just prayed and I took the time to remember how much God loves me, and cares for me, and that He will never forsake me. After I finished praying I took out my bible and I did some reading. I came across quite a few verses and these are the ones that stuck with me:

"If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth."1 John 1:6

" Therefore LET him abide in you which you heard from the begginning. If what you heard from the begginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and the Father." 1 John

"But you beloved,building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life." Jude

These verses resonated with me beacuse they put an emphasis that our faith is something to be put into action. If I say  I love Jesus, and that I have fellowship with Him, than I must put this faith to work by taking the time to read the bible when im feeling alone so that I can ALLOW God to speak to me through His word and I can be reminded of his everlasting love. I am reminded that i must allow the Lord to abide in me, and that I must build my self up on my faith, by praying and keeping my self in the presence of Gods love by tuning into His truth and not my own poisonous self condeming thoughts. Love is an action word,therefore just as Jesus dying on the cross was the greatest sacrifice and action of love, I too must die to myself, let go of my depressive state and look forward to what God has put right in front of me. Jesus loves you. Jesus Died for you. Remember that. What will you do for HIM today? what will you do for others today? and how will you learn to see your self the way Gos sees you, as beautiful?

"Unconditional love is our essence and joy is it's expression."

Author unknown

These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. –Jesus Christ (John 15:11-12)

Psalms 63:5-7 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

“What I am anxious to see in Christian believers is a beautiful paradox. I want to see in them the joy of finding God while at the same time they are blessedly pursuing Him. I want to see in them the great joy of having God yet always wanting Him.” ~ A. W. Tozer

 

Jesus Died for you too, don't eliminate yourself

 ghandi stated, “Be the Change you wish to see in the world”….or my favorite…By Mr. Bob Marley, “Don’t worry be happy”. How will you be happy? How will you make change? Will you Google up your horoscope and hope on the stars and their illusive authoresses to map out your life while you continuously go at it hard on the road to hell. Will you continue to have sex? Will you smoke all the pain away? Will you party all your sorrows down the drain? Will you listen to an Idolize Weezy and Nicki Minaj and follow them instead of Jesus?

Self condemnation. None of us want to believe it. We all want to point the finger.’ Well you know, I only do this because of the way I was raised.’ Okay. Go ahead now, fill yourself up. Go find a job, find a husband, find a degree, make some money. Be the star in your life, and then go medicate yourself on anti- depressants and deny Gods existence only because you don’t want to admit that maybe your wrong. You don’t want to admit that maybe, it’s not about you. You sell out into this realm of “Secular Humanism”. ‘We are all here by chance, and we all create our own purpose . We all create our own truth.’ Blah blah blahhh blahhhh blahhhhh.

 I tried that. I tried to read the self help books, I tried everything. You know what I found. I found myself on my knees. I found myself broken. I found myself crying out to the God I had once denied, or belittled. I found that my search was finished at the cross. I found love. I found my Heavenly Father. I found purpose and direction. I found family in the body of Christ. I found happiness. I found truth. I found myself repenting. I confessed my sins, and then I turned away from them.For years I was living a life all about me, finding my truth. I was broken, I was empty and weary. I was on the verge of suicide. I hated who I had become. I realized how self destructive, living for me can be. I know that the words I am writing seem a little harsh, but there’s no way going around it. Make the choice. Choose happiness, chose peace, chose Jesus. We all need love, we all need Jesus.

            Friends Jesus Died on the cross for us. Jesus died on the cross for YOU. He sees the pain, and the torment you have. He can’t stand to watch you go down that road anymore. He longs for you. He delights in you. He died so that maybe you would believe in Him. He died so that maybe you would live for him. He died so that you would turn to him. Do you long to be fought for? Open your eyes, Jesus fought for you. He is jealous for you.Do you long for someone to remove that weight you hold so heavily on your shoulders? Open up a Bible. That book was written for you. Love letters, from your one true love. Jesus loves you, he wants to take care of you, and hold your hand throughout your life. Let him in. Once you let go of yourself, you will find Him. Once you find him, once you fall in love with him you won’t ever go back. Seek God and he will come near. Seek God, by meditating on his word. Read the Bible. Reach out to fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Attend Church. Embark on the journey, the greatest journey of your life. You will find yourself coming alive. You will find that before you knew Jesus you were dead. You were quickly perishing away and you were a slave to sin and unhappiness. When you pray to God, when you thank him for the greatest sacrifice of all, when you take up your cross momentarily and live for Him that is when you truly are alive. God will grant you with Holy Spirit which will dwell inside your heart and guide you through. Listen. I urge you to. Invite God to write your story. Fall in love with your creator. Live for Him. <3